Engineers assemble!

Kinja'd!!! "Dogsatemypants" (kb113400)
11/20/2019 at 21:41 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!2 Kinja'd!!! 13

I have come up with a concept that needs to be developed... i need to make a device that emits some form of radiation. Radiation that causes all humans, save for the person activating said device, intense intestinal discomfort and a burning sensation in their skull. There are times when I really need space, and society wants to shove people in my face. I would only use this device at home or in heavy traffic, i promise.


DISCUSSION (13)


Kinja'd!!! MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Dogsatemypants
11/20/2019 at 21:52

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Wear noise canceling headphones and blare heavy metal


Kinja'd!!! Poor_Sh > Dogsatemypants
11/20/2019 at 21:52

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What are we assembling? Is there a manual?

Oh and have you tried a baby? That sounds exactly how I'd react around a baby though I guess some weirdos are actually attracted to those monsters.


Kinja'd!!! gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > Dogsatemypants
11/20/2019 at 21:54

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Spicy food and fart


Kinja'd!!! PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120 > Dogsatemypants
11/20/2019 at 21:57

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Nature already made this, we humans call it a virus, specifically influenza. It’s slow to present symptoms, so I don’t think this is the solution you’re looking for.

Otherwise, a microwave emitter could be effective here . A n old small Soviet radar array would probably work nicely. Mobility will be an issue due to power requirements but I imagine we can develop a solution.

Get step 1 complete and touch base for step 2, obviously step 3 will be profit.


Kinja'd!!! Urambo Tauro > Dogsatemypants
11/20/2019 at 22:04

Kinja'd!!!0


Kinja'd!!! Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Dogsatemypants
11/20/2019 at 22:07

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White Castles and coffee 


Kinja'd!!! Poor_Sh > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s
11/20/2019 at 22:10

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Wait, is the metal playing outside the headphones or in the headphones? I'd prefer in for myself but out would likely push people away as intended..


Kinja'd!!! CB > Dogsatemypants
11/20/2019 at 22:11

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I mean, I only have a suggestion for something that would work in crowds for keeping people away: loudly shit yourself, and make it clear that you are loudly shitting yourself. People will give you space, I promise.


Kinja'd!!! BaconSandwich is tasty. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/20/2019 at 23:10

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I was going to suggest Taco Bell, but that could work too.


Kinja'd!!! MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Poor_Sh
11/21/2019 at 00:01

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Yea, that wasn’t very clear, but outside would be more effective at getting people away


Kinja'd!!! MrDakka > PyroHoltz f@h Oppo 261120
11/21/2019 at 01:43

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Raytheon already makes this: Active Denial  System/Silent Guardian


Kinja'd!!! MrDakka > Dogsatemypants
11/21/2019 at 01:45

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Raytheon makes the Active Denial System/Silent Guardian which emits millimeter wave microwaves that cause a burning sensation if present in beam path.


Kinja'd!!! Dogsatemypants > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s
11/21/2019 at 15:36

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Yeah, but i really want people to feel like their head is on fire and they are in the process of shitting themselves. Idk about microwaves, they don’t cause cancer fast enough.

The device would need to have some consequences for use. Otherwise i might be tempted to leave it on all the time.